Hi guys. Just wanted to do another check in with you all.

I miss you guys! But I’m still not really ok. I have really good days, but I also have really bad days. Lately the bad days have kinda been outweighing the good, which sucks. 

I still can’t put myself in a healthy enough mindset to work out (it either ends up viewed as a punishment for not eating healthy or an “if I work out, then I can____” which also isn’t a good thing because it takes me down not ok paths)

I’m hoping that with summer coming and what will possibly be my least busiest summer in years I can work towards being able to get my mind back to being more ok. 

I want to be able to work out again because I just like how I feel.

I want to be able to view food normally, or at least in a healthier light than I do now.

I know I can do this. I know at least subconsciously I’ve apparently been keeping active enough/watching what I eat enough to where this…hiatus…hasn’t set me back for being at a healthy weight. I want to be able to do this more consciously though without my mind going crazy.

So yeah, that’s where I’m at. I still can’t really be on this blog much because even the 20 or so minutes I’ve spent on here have been rough.

choc-o-late:

noahbattles:

ericballard:

shewalkswithwings:

oodlesandoodles:

choc-o-late:

Hush little hipster don’t you cry

starbucks always has free wi-fi

Sweet little hipster don’t say a word

you’re in a band nobody’s heard

hush all you hipsters dressed in wool

instagram your beard before it gets cool  

and if that post gets no likes

you can buy a vintage fixed gear bike

And if that bike becomes a bore

you can sell it to the nearest thrift store

And if that thrift store wont buy

you can still get yourself a nice bowtie

ama-blanca replied to your post: Hi guys

It’s ok. Take time for yourself and heal :) We all go through it from time to time.

bensjourneyforlife replied to your post: Hi guys

You aren’t alone though, hon. This is a pretty supportive group. I’ve been thankful for the support.

Thank you both so much!

It’s been….a long time. 

Sorry.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental issues…my mind…it’s not in a pretty place right now.

I’m sorry I haven’t been on here much 

I’m sorry

So I was all planning on working out this morning then I woke up and our heat was out.

What.

So not only is it freezing in the basement so I didn’t want to be on the elliptical down there, I had to go to Walmart with my mom since she needed her oil changed so I drove separate in case it was going to take too long and she needed to be home to meet the repair dudes.

They were supposed to come between 11-2 but at like 1 they called and said they’re running late.

So, no work out. House is super cold. Mom’s complaining about time spent on computer (because sitting out in the living room watching TV is so much better. Right.)

My poor dog wants to be on my bed but my room is cold and he keeps looking at the vent accusingly.

Whine whine whine.

I miss being on here and seeing what you all are up to. I was all excited when the semester was over because it would mean a whole month of freedom but then like work.

At least I’m gonna have an awesome paycheck come midnight.

Guys I don’t know if I can handle this marathon.

Like yeah.

You have to finish in under 6 hours meaning your mile average has to be less than 15 minutes per mile.

I know I could do it but the dedication for training…I’m not sure I have that

dittoh:

Gonna open a gym called Resolutions, it’ll be a gym for the first 2 weeks of a year then it’ll be a bar for the rest of the year.

So yesterday at work I agreed to run a Marathon in May with some of my coworkers/managers.

What.

I’ve got a plan that technically starts today with a 1 mile jog but I’m going to go ahead and wait until Tuesday to start since 1 mile isn’t hard for me especially since I’m supposed to run it at like a 15 minutes pace.

That’s like double my mile time. 

MARATHON TRAINING IS EASY

-.-

Of course, this is setting up for it to take me just over five hours to complete the marathon. I might see if I can’t adjust that a little bit.